Huh!
by The Other Side of Darkness
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if Yoruichi of Bleach were to decide Ranma would make an interesting pet Project? I obviously have and this is the result. Please Enjoy. Not RxA Not RxY Not Ranma with anyone in the fiance brigade.
1. Chapter 1

This story, like so many others, is inspired a dream. Not a dream of happy fluffy things or of equality among all men, but of asskickings, disguised perverts, insanely genius and equally evil bitches, and the Goddess of Speed, Brutality, and Sensuality.

That's right! Shihouin Yoruichi makes an appearance in this fiction! ALL HAIL THE GODDESS OF SPEED, BRUTALITY, AND SENSUALITY!

Ahem... sorry, I'm a Yoruichi fanboy.

Anyways let just jump right into it shall we?

Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma One Half or Bleach.

Chapter One: Bleaching The Horse

Ranma took a deep breath, his chest expanding to take in the oxegyn. He took a subtle stance and let out his breath. He moved into the first Kata smoothly, going slow enough for it to be a relaxing movement and not simply a training excercize.

As his body moved in a dance of grace and form, his mind found its center and he began to sort out his thoughts. He set memories to the way side, seperated into good and bad for later reference, and unfortunately the good pile was rather inconsequential compared to the bad.

He then began to sort through his plans for the future. They too had two main piles: Instant Bloody Gratification, and Good Plans. The Instant Bloody Gratifcation pile far outweighed the Good Plan pile the way bad memories outweighed the good.

As his body moved into a slightly more advanced kata, his mind delved into the Good Plans section.

The first he dug out of that pile was Becoming Rounin. It was a good plan. Shed him of all the fiancees except for Shampoo and would let him travel around like he liked with only the amazons to fear.

It did however lack in some ways. His father might ban him from using the art, not that he'd listen. He would no longer have a home and probably would not be tolerated in the Tendo home. It also meant he'd be as broke as the day he was born and would probably have to swim across to China again to get any money at all because of the prejudices against those without a family name in japan.

His body switched to another kata, this one focusing on raw power. Unlike most of it's type it relied on the whole body to crush the opponent, instead of just the hands and arms.

He dug around in the Good Plans pile for another couple seconds. He pulled out one labled 'Buy a Bucket Hat'.

"What the...? How would that help anything?" Despite that thought he put that plan on his To-do List.

He searched again and this time came up with Faked Seppuku.

This one would take a lot of planning and calling in favors from people he'd rescued. He'd first have to set up a forged identity, probably something as far from his own name and station as he could possibly afford. Then he'd have to take the time to set up a ki fold filled with his blood, and time opening it just right so that it would appear he stabbed himself when in truth he just put the blade part way into the pocket while letting the blood spill out. After that he'd set himself in a deathlike state set for just long enough to get him to the morgue, get his new papers and get the hell away.

There weren't many drawbacks to this one except for the most glaring one. He'd never be able to use any of his favorite techniques again. They were as much his signature as always boasting that he was the best, and would reveal him twice as quick. Now, he wasn't one to shirk away from hardwork, but creating a new bunch of techniques would just be annoying.

As he moved through another kata, this one the polar opposite of the last, he felt eyes upon him. Realizing he was being watched brought forth a number of protocols from his subconscious.

The first was Level of Threat. He threaded the air with a layer of Ki so thin Happousai wouldn't have picked it up and scanned his watcher for strength and ability. What he got back was relieving. Threat read minimal, which meant it was just an observer, so he could continue in peace.

Second was Intent. The same layer of Ki proceeded to read the shape and color of the persons subconciously released energies for age, gender, and base emotions.

What he got back was: undeterminable, female( He almost grimaced at the implications of another suitor.), and boredom and mild curiosity.

After the first two scans proved the observer to be of minimal threat and only interested in what he was doing, the others receded and he settled into his 'For Show' Kata.

They were his moves that were impressive, but usable outside of combat without being destructive, mostly non Ki based attacks.

After a few minutes he finished with the Chestnut Fist, and heard light clapping.

He looked to his observer and raised one eyebrow.

The woman, for surely this female could never be counted as a simple girl, had black skin, purple hair and amber eyes. She wore a black spandex body suit, odd grey shoes that moved up her legs to form shin guards, and an orange kimono jacket with white shoulder pads. She kept her long purple hair tied back. Her figure was modest, and yet her body screamed sensuality without the permiscuity that normally accompanied it. The girls in Nerima could never compete with this woman should she choose to enter the race.

"Pretty impressive," her voice complimented her smirk which in turn complimented her already massive sensuality and Ranma had to focus on his Soul of Ice to keep himself from loosing focus on relevant things.

"Of course, I'm the best," he said puffing his chest up.

He was surprised when she scoffed and said through a chuckle, "Please! You still use Ki and Chi to enhance your prowess. You are far from the best, little boy." Her smirk seemed to grow predatory.

"Oh yeah? Well who is the best then?" Ranma asked. He was genuinely curious now. Was it possible to attain the speed of the Amaguriken without ki? If so who could teach him?

"Your looking at her."

Now it was Ranma's turn to scoff, "Yeah right, lady. Even if somebody could do the things I do, without Ki, they'd still have high levels of the stuff and you barely got a drop to ya."

The woman's smirk didn't deminish at all.

Next thing Ranma knew the largest source of Ki he'd felt, _ever_, was behind him and the woman was gone.

"Care to try me, little boy?" Her voice came to him from behind, seductive and teasing.

Now, Ranma knew he was pretty much screwed, but he could never back down from a fight, especially not now that he felt so supremely overpowered. At the moment a quote was going through his head, "One can never learn as much from Victory as they do from Defeat."

Ranma jumped away from her and took up a stance perfect for defence and attack and said, "I gotta warn ya, lady, Ranma Saotome never loses."

"Let's test that theory, shall we?"

It was over in seconds. As Ranma lay there staring up into the amber eyes of his opponent she spoke once more, "My name is Yoruichi... but you can call me master." And Ranma was out like a light.

When our aquatransexual hero next awoke he found himself in a wasteland. The rocky terrain was only contrasted by the blue sky. No plants, no animals, just yellow-orange rocks, dirt... and a ladder into the sky?

"About time you woke up?" Came the voice of his superior, "I was getting bored."

Ranma sat up and rolled his blue eyes to take in the goddess that would be his self proclaimed master.

"Where exactly are we?"

She grinned slightly, "A safe place. No one will find you here, not even that amazonian elder."

She grinned seeing the shock in Ranma's eyes, "How did you-"

"Did you think that we met on mere happenstance? No, I specifically searched you out, little boy."

"Why?" Ranma asked, narrowing his eyes. He hoped that she wasn't like Nabiki. Someone with this woman's skill and similar views to Nabiki would be powerful enough to end the world as they saw fit.

"Have you ever contemplated the concept of Eternity? No? I'm not surprised," Yoruichi, if he remembered correctly, said without pausing to let him answer, "I have and it's fine and dandy, but every once in a while you get bored. Last time I was this bored I became a fugitive of a society that now has every one of it's citizens after my head, as if they could take it."

"And what does any of this have to do with me?" Ranma could already guess, and knew it was a stupid question, but he was more focused on the way her crossed arms pushed her breasts up in her jacket.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm making you my pet project," her grin couldn't have been more predatory if she had been the cat that ate the canary, "We're going to train here, probably for a month or so. Then I'm going to drop you off back in Nerima, and watch the fun."

Ranma stared at her for a moment or two before closing his eyes and shrugging. After all, what did he have to lose? She was the strongest fighter he'd ever met and probably ever would meet. Being trained by her would undoubtedly make him stronger, and he'd get away from his problems for a bit.

Yoruichi saw his agreement, not that it really mattered, and her grin became more predatory than ever. This was gonna be fun.

+-- Scene Break Presented by IFLI Industries --+

The last month had to be the craziest, loudest, most peaceful month Nerima had ever seen.

Craziest _because_ it was the most peaceful. It hadn't been this serene this long in the district since a few months before the Saotome boy arrived, and people had grown quite accustomed to the chaos surrounding him. They also learned that each quiet time with him around preceded some new happening more often than not exceeding the last in property damage. The longest quiet time had been the stretch of three months before the incident with Saffron and the wedding.

It was the loudest because almost daily someone was screaming in frustration at the missing Saotome, Akane most often. The youngest Tendo seemed to think he had gone and eloped with one of the other fiancees, although in her words the phrasing was far less kind. Kuno had recieved some of the worst beating of his life and the Hentai Horde was slowly building up there courage, hoping that maybe Akane was free again.

This fine morning was no exception to the last few except for two things.

The first was male, wore black pants, a grey tank with a grey band as wide as his neck going down the front, and pointed toed boots, custom made. He had short black hair and grey blue eyes that seemed to convey the message that he'd rather be anywhere else than at the gates to Furinkan.

The other... was a cat. It was a purely black cat, with amber eyes and an aura about it that seemed to draw the eyes of the passersby.

"Do I really have to be here?" the male whined.

"Yes," Came a condescending barritone from the cat. Yes, the cat.

"Why?" The male pleaded, "Couldn't we just go to the dojo and drop the bomb?"

"No," the cat replied and began to walk away, "I'll meet you here after your classes are finished, then we'll go 'drop the bomb'."

The male sighed and made his way into the courtyard as the cat had quite clearly signified that the conversation was over.

Thirty minutes later, ten to twelve of the boys in his grade had gathered near the gates and seemed to be eagerly awaiting the arrival of someone.

The male raised one eyebrow.

Not five minutes later he heard a cry that was eerily familiar to his first morning at Furinkan.

"I HATE BOYS!!"

And very quickly the dozen or so boys were out.

The cause of the sudden circle of semiconscious, sexdriven teens was a blue haired girl that could only be Akane Tendo.

"Oh, fair maiden. I do not know whether to pity you for the hand you have been dealt, having to deal with this boorish lot and the sorcerer Saotome, or to watch in awe as your divine form lays waste to...the... what are you laughing at, scum?!"

The male couldn't help it. To think someone, even Kuno, thought that Akane was the epitome of beauty and sensuality was just lunacy worthy of Charlie Manson.

"C'mon, Kuno, you can not seriously mean all that bullshit you just said about Akane. Your sister must have been spikin' your cheerios with bleach for a long time for you to think that," The male said while holding his sides and continued laughing afterwards.

Kuno, did not immediately recognize the male, but Akane did and her anger Ki flared to life in an instant.

"RRRRAAAANNNMAAAA!!" She ran forward with all the speed she posessed, swinging her Mallet-From-Nowhere at full force.

Only to hit air.

"Tell me you haven't always been this slow, Akane," Ranma's voice came from twenty feet behind her and superior sounding as hell.

Akane began to growl ferociously, and charged him again... only to hit air again.

"Now Kuno, m'boy, I want you to go home, find out what your food has been laced with, and cut the flow till you find the images in Playboy more interesting than pictures of Akane." Ranma proceeded to push Kuno out of the gate Furinkan and shoo him towards his home.

Before Akane could try to mallet him again Ranma was in the classroom, displaying the same level of speed he had used to avoid her the first two times. Akane only glowed with anger and stomped after the young man.

Nabiki smirked as she entered Ranma's classroom. She figured now would be another good time to extort some cash out of the martial arts jock. She walked over to his desk and held out her hand.

"Five thousand."

Ranma raised one eyebrow then nodded sagely, "Right, you want a tip." He motioned for her to lean down so he could whisper to her.

Nabiki thought it over for a moment before deciding to go with it.

"If you're going to blackmail someone... make sure they give a damn first." Ranma then leaned back in his desk with his hands behind his head.

Nabiki blinked once then glared at Ranma, "Just for that the price is upped to forty thousand, Saotome."

"For what?" Ranma asked.

Nabiki grinned, "Wouldn' you like to know?"

"Nope, not really," he closed his eyes and started humming a light tune.

Nabiki growled, "Now it's a hundred thousand."

Ranma sighed and opened one eye to level her with a flat look. "For what?" he repeated.

"Pay me an I'll tell you," she said keeping her glare up.

"Not interested." He went back to humming his tune.

Nabiki's glare became colder and she prepared to up the price again when the warning bell rang. She gave him one last glare before stomping out of class just as Akane came stomping in.

Her glare at Ranma was just as cold, but hardly as controlled.

"So who did you elope with you two timing bastard?!" She yelled for the class to hear.

"No one, but if I did it would be someone you can never compare to in any way, and no matter how cute you are when you smile you will never, ever, hold a candle to her beauty, grace, class, sensuality, and kindness," Ranma said without opening his eyes.

He also appeared in another seat behind the one he was just in, as Akane slammed the mallet down on his desk, with his eyes closed.

"You know, you can get expelled for destroying school property, Akane," Ranma said, still not bothering to open his eyes.

"It was your fault!" Akane screeched.

"No it wasn't," Ranma now opened his eyes, giving her a bored look, "You asked me a question, I answered it, in an admittedly rude way, and you tried to hammer my skull in. That's called Assault With Deadly Intent in most courtrooms."

Akane growled angrily and would have continued to attack the smug bastard, but Miss Hinako walked in at that moment. She grumbled as she made her way to her own desk, shooting Ranma glares the whole period.

+-- End Chapter --+

A/N: OK this seem like as good a place as any to end the chapter. Yes Ranma is super over powered, yes he apparently learned more than just fighting in the month with Yoruichi, it's quite obviously not a RaxAk story, I'm assuming the reader knows enough about both Bleach and Ranma to know the characters, and I'll explain why ranma didn't freak out to Yoruichi's cat form eventually, just wait for it.

To those waiting on Bucket Hat, or another on of my stories. I'll get to it when I get to it.


	2. Higher Math

Chapter two is here and I find myself having forgotten an important Note.

This story Obviously takes place after Saffron and the Wedding in the Ranmaverse, but it is also before the entire Bleach line. Ichigo and Rukia have yet to meet even.

Side Note: Let's all give a hand for my Beta-reader, the talented Chris ShadowMoon. Thanks for the the help, Chris.

Chapter Two: Take One Horse Add Three Hyenas, Two Coocoo Birds, A Pig, A Duck, And Two Trolls And You Get Chaos. Multiply The Horse By A Goddess And You Get Chuckles

By the time luch break rolled around at Furinkan the rumor mills and betting pools were working over time.

A lot of the rumors had Ranma being abducted by aliens or posessed by an angry spirit of vengeance out for the blood of those that wronged him.

All the betting pools centered on bloody gory fights to come and who would come out with the most injuries. It was pretty damn obvious after how long he'd been there that Ranma just wouldn't lose to any of his standard rivals.

The rumors were even more outrageous for the fact that miss Hinako had tried to drain Ranma like normal... and failed. She just couldn't latch onto his energy and draw it out.

Kuno had also returned by the time lunch came. He stood in the courtyard, and angry glare directed at Ranma as he casually strolled out of the building. His glare intensified as he realized the formerly pigtailed youth was ignoring him and his glorious speech proving his superiority and promising the destruction of the vile cur.

His glare was joined by Ukyo's and Akane's as Ranma casually flirted with a couple girls sitting in the bleachers as he lazed about waiting for the lunch period to end.

Finally, Kuno had had enough and shouted out, "I challenge you to a duel, Vile Sorcerer Saotome!"

Ranma looked over at Kuno for a second before turning back to the girls and whispering something that sent them into giggle fits. He then stood up and walked over to Kuno, hands in his pockets.

"Sup, Tatewaki?"

"I challenge you to a duel to the rights to date and marry both the pigtailed girl and my firce tigress, Akane!" Kuno stated proudly.

Ranma took a thinking pose, "Nah, I don't really feel like accepting. Later, Kuno." He began to walk back to the two girls, Kim, a foreign exhange student with blonde hair and green eyes, and Eri, a somewhat short girl a year younger than him with black hair and crimson brown eyes.

He was stopped by a mallet that would have hit him if he hadn't stopped walking.

"Sup, 'Kane," he said with the same bored tone as he did with Kuno.

"You pervert! Stop bothering those girls!"

"Girls, am I bothering you?" He asked Eri and Kim.

"Oh, yes," Eri said sarcastically, "We are so annoyed by your presence that we decided to flirt with you, have a pleasant conversation about manga we enjoy, and laugh at your jokes to see if it would drive you off."

Of course Akane heard,"'Yes, he's a bastard, pervert, freak! Please save us!"

And so she attacked. For the fifth time that day her mallet only hit air.

She felt something being placed on her head and facened under her chin and whipped around to see Ranma with a pitying grin on his face.

"There you go, 'Kane," he said slowly as if speaking to a child, "This helmet will keep your..._special_ mind safe from anymore damage, okay?" And everyone watching, especially Ukyo, started roaring in laughter at the insinuation.

It finally pieced to gether in Akane's mind that Ranma wasn't talking to her like a child.

"I AM NOT RETARDED, RANMA NO BAKA!!" And she swung yet again with the same results.

"Oh yeah. Conving argument there, Akane," Ukyo said through her laughter.

"Shut up you hussy! You're no better than the freaky pervert!" And she stormed off to find where her soon to be dead fiance had disappeared to this time... forgetting about the helmet with the word 'Special' on the front.

After she was gone Ranma peeked out from behind Eri and Kim with a grin.

At the end of the lunch period, only fifteen minutes later, Ranma left Eri and Kim to go to his own class, ignoring the questioning stares he had recieved from Ukyo all period.

Ukyo in a rare moment of clear thought, when it involved her fiancee and one time best friend, decided not to threaten the girls away from her Ranchan. She knew that Ranma hated the situation he was in, being forced to choose between her, Akane, Shampoo or any other fiancee that showed up at his doorstep. She could also probably guess that him flirting with the two girls sitting in the bleachers was not an attempt to garner more females after his heart.

The question was why would he even risk it?

Was something about to happen? Was he afraid he'd lose his life to a new challenge so he decided to just live like he wanted? Or had something already happened? He had jumped up quite aways in power, she could tell, and he usually only did that when facing an enemy far stronger than he was.

This line of thought brought more and more worries to the girl's mind. He had been gone for an entire month and noone knew where he was. Who knew what could've happened.

He was only in China for a little over a week and look at the disaster that had come about when he made it back. The wedding had to be the biggest mistake on the part of every member of the Nerima Wrecking Crew ever. Even Ranma was not completely without fault in that happening.

With these dark thoughts of forboding and doom, Ukyo made her way into class.

For the rest of the day Akane, who had finally removed the helmet, and Ukyo gave him burning glares and nervous, sideways glances respectively. He seemed about as effected by the looks he was recieving as he was by the light breeze coming through the window.

When final bell for the day wrang Ranma was gone before anyone had even moved from their seats. Akane stomped from the class, leaving cracks in the tiles and grinding her teeth.

Once the front gates were in sight she froze, eyes open wide, and ran back inside to get a bucket of water. She came back out and threw the contents on a distracted Ranma.

The water, unlike her mallet strikes, managed to hit it's target. As Ranma-chan shook the water out of her hair Akane's subconscious noted that the spiky hair looked good on both forms.

"That wasn't nice, 'Kane," Ranma-chan said as she pulled a sports bra and a belt out of Stuff Space and managed to slip both items on without flashing every young guy looking.

The cat, the reason Akane had drenched Ranma hoping to either stun her out of the Nekoken or distract her from the feline so she could chase it away, had an amused air about as it watched the two.

"You should be thanking me, Baka! I just saved you from the Nekoken!"

Ranma just raised one eyebrow then looked at the black cat and grinned.

"Oh, right that little old thing," she said, "You don't need to worry about that happening with Yoruichi, here."

Akane's questioning glances were ignored and she frowned, "Why is that?"

"Hmm? Oh, Yoruichi isn't a cat. See, no problem. Just run along and tell the families I'm home. I have some things to discuss with Yoruichi." She waved her off and Akane growled before deciding she wasn't worth it and storming past her.

"So that is your main fiancee?" Yoruichi said in her decptively male voice.

"Yup," Ranma said just before taking a step back as a bicycle landed right where she had been not a few seconds earlier.

"Nihao, Airen!" Shampoo ignored the imediate fact that Ranma had dodged her bike and attempted to glomp her to meet success equal to that of Akane's mallet. That is to say none.

"And this one is my so called Amazon wife," Ranma explained and then leaned back as three throwing knives and a chain passed her head and embedded into the wall beside her and Yoruichi, "And her myopic pet idiot."

"Saotome, you fiend! You dare dodge away from Shampoo's affections when those who deserve it are kicked to the gutter?! I'll draw out your death for all to hear your screams!" Mousse proceeded to throw a volley of weapons at Ranma...or what he thought was Ranma.

He recieved a bash to the head, courtesy of Shampoo's bonburi, and a scolding of, "Stupid Mousse! Airen gone!" She then climbed back onto her bike and went about delivering the noodles she had been sent out to deliver in the first place.

In an alley not too far away Ranma leaned against the wall, Yoruichi on her head. "Thank god for the Shunpo," Ranma-chan mumbled as she waited for both the Amazons to leave before she began to walk home.

"Well, the show has just started and already I'm amused," Yoruichi's voice gave hint to her mirth.

Ranma and Yoruichi began a leisurely pace towards the Tendo Dojo. Yoruichi had jumped down from Ranma's head to walk on her own power just incase another adversary should show up... like the one she could feel approaching quickly followed by a lot of angry auras.

"HACHA!!"

Ranma-chan looked to her right just in time to see Happousai attempt to latch onto her chest.

As with many other things that had targeted Ranma this fine day he missed. Though, not because of a dodge this time.

No this one was blocked by a hand. A hand glowing pure white with a ki projectile about to be launched. Happousai had just enough time to look at Ranma-chan's face, see the wicked grin forming, before he was blasted back with the minimal amount of Ki necessary into the crowd of angry women.

Ranma-chan just smirked as she heard the old man's cries of outrage and pain at the hands of the women he had groped and stolen from.

"Hmm?"

"Sup, Yoruichi?"

"Nothing, just thought I recognized something about your last adversary."

Ranma thought for a moment, "I wouldn't be surprized if you did. Between Happousai and my pops I don't know who's pissed off more people." Yoruichi shrugged as best a cat can before moving on. She couldn't wait for the real show to begin.

The walk back to the Tendo dojo was uneventful after dealing with Happousai, though Ranma could sense another old troll at the edge of her senses. It seemed that at least one person was observing before acting, though of all of the Nerima crew, Cologne was undoubtedly the wisest. That didn't really say much for the rest of Ranma's circle.

Once at the Tendo home Ranma took no pause before entering. He also didn't bother playing nice like he had done so far when both the fathers attacked him to try and knock him out and set him up for another wedding.

She simply kicked Soun to the way side, making sure to add enough force to knock the man out.

She then layed into the fat waste of food and space that claimed to be her father.

The house was filled with snaps, cracks, and screams of pain as Ranma thoroughly ripped her father apart without leaving any permanent damage. After only a couple minutes of this, leaving everyone cringing, Ranma walked into the main living area and was dragging behind her Genma and Soun.

"Hey, Kas-chan," Ranma greeted the eldest Tendo daughter kindly. She was perhaps the only person in her circle of people that had never beat him, drugged, blackmailed him, or sold him. If only he could have been engaged to Kasumi from the beginning he might be sitting in a very different situation.

Seeing the state of her father Akane decided to try yet again to mallet the Saotome heir.

Apparently since meeting the fathers at the door Ranma had decided to stop playing.

She ripped the mallet from Akane's hands and turned it on her with force equal to what she was about to recieve. As her body flew out the back door and into the yard of the Tendo home Ranma put the mallet down and her pleasant grin back on.

"Now that that business is finished let's have a nice little conversation about some things, shall we, Nabiki, Kasumi?" She sat down, ignoring Nabiki's look of astonishment while Kasumi poured Ranma some hot water.

"Oh, I do hope you have some interesting stories from your latest venture, Ranma-kun," she said in her peaceful and deceptively clueless way.

+-- End Chapter Two--+

A/N: OK, that's it for this chapter, I know not much focused on Yoruichi, but that will change with the next chapter. I hope it was as enjoyable as the first chapter.

TOSD out


	3. Chapter 3

Let's see, How to start this chapter? Do I introduce the previously mentioned insanely genius and equally evil bitch or the disguised pervert? Flip of the coin maybe?

Oh well, let's just see what happens.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dexter's Laboratory

Chapter Two: But She... I Thought... What The Hell, Man?!

With minor psychological manipulation she controlled her entire family and half the district of Nerima. She had Kuno eating out of the palm of her hand like a trained dolphin, her father became the man he was today through her careful prodding, with application of mild sedatives she had made Kasumi the willing slave of the family, and with only one hint, one, turned Nabiki into the money grubbing bitch she was. Hell, even Aunty Soatome bent to her will. And all that with just psychology, just immagine what she had churning on the back-burners.

Yes, Akane Tendo was perhaps the greatest genius on the planet, her only rivals being those Americans, Dexter and Mandark. So it was within reason for her to be pissed that, no matter the level of psychological manipulation, the creature she unleashed from her secret stash in the guise of cooking( Akane scoffed at the thought of actually doing menial labor.), or the number of enemies Akane had turned on him, Ranma would not bend to her.

If it wasn't enough that his mind and soul were as unbreakable as his body, his pheromone levels were off the charts. High enough to make Akane herself desire sexual relief. The few samples of blood, hair, and skin she was able to retrieve from him were inadequate for her tests and she just couldn't get him into her lab to do more extensive research. Hypnotic suggestion, by this time, was as about as fool proof as a sponge contraceptive and only seemed to work consecutively on Ryoga anyway. She could probably have tried to lure him into her lab with food... a month ago before he'd fought saffron and her robots would have the capabilities of holding him down, but ever since he had defeated the feather brain with a god complex he just couldn't be restrained by something as flimsy as ten ton tested diamon filliment cords.

So she began devising a sedative powrful enough to kill the population of Nerima and part of Tokyo at large, that should keep him out long enough to get him into her lab. But wouldn't you know it, just as soon as she finished it, the bastard went and disappeared for a month. And if that wasn't aggravating enough, when he came back he was twenty times quicker, stronger, and apparently smarter than he was when they last saw him. He wouldn't even allow her to hit him as he normally would with her mallet to inject the sedatives through the very small hypodermic needle carefuly hidden at the tip. She was lucky that when Ranma had struck her back with her own mallet she had been hit with the opposite side and hadn't recieved a dose.

And now, as she lay on the ground next to the koi pond, holding herself, and hissing lightly in pain, she could hear the object of her research and agitation saying something that apparently shocked her sisters to the point of simultaneous 'Oh my's.

She slowly dragged herself to her feet, pushing her public persona to the forefront with the clean up program Kicked Puppy running in the foreground, and slowly made her way back into the living room. The tears gathering in the corners of her eyes would hopefully achieve the affect of knocking Ranma off balance long enough to be able give him a good smack with her hammer.

But before her faked tears could take effect she saw something that made her Anger Drive Sixteen: NHC(Naked Hot Chick) kick into effect with such ferocity that Akane herself nearly felt the nova force rage. It was then further bolstered by Anger Drive Ten: FWR (Flirting With Ranma) when the AD Sixteen trigger started teasing Ranma with a finger trailing under his chin.

Now she did feel the anger.

Akane did not feel any sentimental attachment to the Saotome heir. Indeed some might say she was incapable of feeling attachment to anything or anyone. But she was posessive... as a two year old with your car keys. And just as willing to fight over what she thought was hers and more than willing to throw a tantrum until she got it back if it was taken.

It started as a low, irratic rumbling in the base of the throat that could be called a growl, "Rrrrrrrr", and slowly built into a snarl, "raaaaaaAAAAA", further it grew till it became a cacophonous roar, "AAANNNMM-", that was silence by a sharp look by the dark skinned AD Sixteen trigger.

Preset Full System Override Numero Uno: TAEF( Total, All Encompassing Fear) shut down every system and reflex in her public persona long enough to make even the true Akane's intellect leave her to face the woman, for surely no phrase or term suited the female at Ranma's side more adequately, with nothing but her primal fight or flight instincts, and she knew to fight meant death.

The woman ceased the look and turned back to Ranma who had wiggled away from her in her distraction. She gave a teasing, scolding tsk.

"Oh, Ranma, what's wrong? Am I not pleasing?" She jutted out her chest towards the Saotome heir forcing him to Look away as his cheeks colored slightly. After a month of this he would have thought he'd be used to it.

"Just go put on some clothes, you crazy woman!" Ranma all but yelled. Yoruichi gave an almost cute pout before sauntering up the stairs for a couple seconds before coming back down fully clothed and wearing a grin that seemed to be made specifically for evil plots and crushing enemies with ease when they previously thought themselves strong.

"Now where were we?" She asked rhetorically as she looked at the four conscious people left in the room.

"My status as a meat product in the district of Nerima and the effect of the multiple marriage contracts on my new position," Ranma said as though he had practiced it.

Akane, unable to call her public face back, decided to be quiet during the proceedings. She couldnt even speak at the moment without alluding to the fact that she was not as she appeared. Her sister, her biggest mistake even if she was a success, was too smart now and for all her genius Akane had not found a way to overcome Nabiki's tactics for extortion. That was what made her a mistake. The creation is not supposed to be able to attack the creator.

Apparently someone never read Frankenstein.

"Right," Yoruichi said as she sat down again crossed her arms under her chest and stared directly at Nabiki, "you are the one who sells info, right? Good. I need you to spread around that Ranma is, so to speak, free. Reasons will be given later in greater detail. Tell them that all contracts, written or otherwise, are negated. They may still pursue him if they want, but if I do not approve of them, then they will be taken out of the running. No one girl has more claim on Ranma than another and it is purely down to mutual attraction to decide the relationship."

Nabiki cut in with, "And what makes you so special as to decide who he can and can't see? And why should I even spread this around? What's in it for me?"

Yoruichi grinned a grin that made Nabiki recoil if only slightly, "If you must know, Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling has been legally declared the vassal to the head of the Shihouin family. Two guesses on who that is and one doesn't count."

"And that means to me?" Nabiki crossed her own arms.

"One Hundred."

"A hundred yen wouldn't get you anything from me, lady. Hardly pocket change around here," Nabiki scoffed.

Yoruichi's grin grew sinister, "I wasn't talking about money, little girl."

"Then just what were you talking about?" Nabiki's eyes narrowed.

"Ranma here," Yoruichi slapped him on the back, "has one hundred ways to kill you from where he's sitting."

Nabiki almost barked out a laugh, "Like that's changed at all. And we both know he wouldn't raise a finger to me even if he knew a thousand."

Ranma almost sighed at Nabiki's behavior.

Quite suddenly Nabiki felt the air become dense, almost unbreathable. Each inward breath was a labor and when she exhaled it was just as hard. It felt like the air had become a liquid and she was slowly drowning to death.

Akane's mask had rebooted by this time and one of her reflexes kicked in. She began to stand up to defend her sister when she was hit by the same look from earlier and sat right back down trying desperately not to wet herself.

Nabiki's wheezing and gasping grew more desperate as the pressure seemed to grow every second.

Until it just stopped.

Nabiki drank in the air she so desperately craved almost to the point of hyperventilation. As her breathing stabilized she looked at Yoruichi with a wary eye.

"Now you see, you are right. Ranma would never lift a finger to harm a non combatant. I however find that people are more pliable when they realize that not only do you have the capabilities, but the will to use them. I am not bound in the slightest in my methods. My profession makes it almost impossible for me to have such limits," she was now behind Nabiki, with her finger on Nabiki's chin, the nail digging slightly into her flesh, "Shinobi have only one goal, Nabiki-chan, one limitation..."

Nabiki froze again, and though she could breathe just fine, she felt as though the danger to herself was far, _far_ more serious.

"...Victory."

Ranma watched it all unblinking. His eyes remained half lidded and he looked at peace with the entire situation even though it seemed Nabiki's very life hung in the balance.

If one were to look at his hands, though, they would see that his knuckles were white with tension. Ranma was barely restraining himself from defending Nabiki. He was furious with himself for thinking that Yoruichi would hurt Nabiki. But she said it herself. She was shinobi. Trained to win... trained to kill...

Before his conscience got the better of him Yoruichi was back in her seat beside him.

"If that isn't enough to get you to agree, I can pay you," she reached inside her kimono jacket and pulled out a check, "This should do it."

Nabiki nervously took the check. Her eyes scanned the paper once, twice, three times.

Both Kasumi and Akane's mask became worried when Nabiki fainted and started foaming at the mouth.

Curious, Kasumi looked at the check. Her eyes widened to comical prportions and she spoke only two words as she continued to stare at the paper, "Oh... my."

Akane finally looked and copied her sisters words and eyes.

_Good God Damn, thats a lot of zeros! That could fund my research for a thousand years!_

Akane looked up when she heard Ranma saying something to Yoruichi.

"Don't you think that you could have just given her the check from the start and avoided the entire need for intimidation, Yoruichi?" Ranma had his face in his left palm with his shoulders slumped in exasperation.

Her grin returned, "But where's the fun if you do everything the easy way?"

Ranma just sighed again as though he shouuld have expected that response and was about to retort when everyone heard Happousais battlecry.

"SWEETO!"

The bouncing ball of perversion hopped around the room and launched himself at Yoruichi.

Too bad he never made it.

Happousai found himself eye to eye with his supposed heir to the art and the boy was growling in his face menacingly. He reached for one of his bombs only to have it taken away immediately. He reached inside his shirt for his pipe and found snapped as soon as it was in his hands. He finally pulled a thermos of water from Stuff Space to try and drench the growling martial artist. The thermos and it's contents were incinerated on sight.

"Oh, Ranma thinks he needs to protect me. That's so cute," Yoruichi proceeded to give her vassal a noogie thus ruining his whole effect over Happousai.

Happousai did not, however, take the chance to escape as he stared at the dark skinned beauty giving his heir a noogie.

Happousai, like Akane, wore a mask. Not one that hid his true personality, no, that perversity and insanity was all him. He wore one over his physical self. He's had to since well over two hundred sixty years ago.

"Yoruichi," Ranma almost whined the name as he pushed her hand away with his free hand.

In Ranma's other hand the aged pervert began to glow and heat up till he forced Ranma let go.

Happousai bounced to the other side of the room. The light began to make it impossible for him to be made out. Cracking began to come from him like someone stepping on a puddle topped with ice. Finally, with a sound like shattering glass, the light broke away from Happousai and, instead of showing the three hundred year old dimunitive, perverted, martial artist, a young man of about six feet and appearing to be about tenty years old was in his place.

+-- End Chapter --+

A/N: Ok this feels about the right place to stop. Please enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own the song Maxwell Edison.

Chapter Four: Unneeded? Yep. Interesting? Maybe.

As the light receded from the diminutive grandmaster Ranma began to wonder if he was truly surprised by such a transformation. He looked to his master to see her with an eyebrow raised in question as she looked at the man left over from the lightshow.

Ranma looked back at Happousai with half lidded eyes and took in his new appearance.

Where once there had been a two foot tall, pudgy pervert there was now a six foot tall man, of similar build to Ranma, with snow white hair styled into about fifty, two inch spikes, silver eyes that reflected the light in the room appearing to give them a depth more substantial than the Mariana Trench, and tanned skin that contrasted his hair and eyes enough to almost make them glow. He wore an old set of chinese training clothes, dark blue in color.

The man then spoke in a voice that was decidedly not Happousai's, or atleast the Happousai Ranma knew, and in an all too familiar manner, "Oh, Goddess of beauty that bless mine eyes, this pitiful soul beseeches thee with but one wish. Allow this mortal to continue to admire your beauty and this one shall forever more be your servant!"

The guy was on a single knee before Yoruichi and had his hands clasped before him as if in prayer.

Yoruichi looked to her vassal, to ask if the grandmaster of Anything Goes did this often, to find him ignoring the oddity that was Happousai's new appearance in favor of a hot cup of tea from the elder Tendo sister.

Yoruichi snapped her eyes back to Happousai when she felt her breasts being fondled. She found the perverted grandmaster clutching at each of her breasts with a look of intense concentration on his face.

What happened next was an act of one quarter instinct, one half honed reflex, three eigths anger, and one eigth channeling Maxwell Edison.

Ranma looked at the results of such a combination, then looked at the woman who had become his master, though neither wanted to have anyone else hear her given such a title, and said, "I am officially afraid of you. Nice hammer, though."

Yoruichi gave a cursory look to the silver hammer in her hand before tossing it over her shoulder where it disappeared in a puff of smoke. Happousai lay on the ground, face through the floorboards, groaning and twitching in pain.

"Back to busin-" Yoruichi was interrupted now by a scream of rage from a bandana wearing ogre in yellow.

"Saotome!! Prepare To Die For Your Tresspasses!!"

A gutteral growl; feral, dominant, bloodthirsty.

Ryoga recoiled in fear. He had never heard such a ferocious warning from anyone or anything, let alone the formerly pigtailed martial artist. His baser instinct of fight or flight was reacting much the way Akane's had just a few minutes prior, but he could feel that neither would aide his survival.

Ryoga right then, infront of Yoruichi, Ranma, and the Tendo sisters, began to beg the gods for his survival, pleading for his life like a sacrifice about to have his heart ripped out...

...and nearly missed Ranma saying, "Eheh heh heh," he scratched at the base of his skull, "Sorry about that. I kinda missed lunch."

Three face faults out of six conscious people later and Ranma was being glared at by those same three out of six.

Nabiki, after hearing the growl, had practically dived out of the door to get away from what was probably going to be a highly destructive battle, only staying close enough to watch the preceeding to get a good tape to sell.

Akane had frozen with her eyes wide open. She had no idea that Ranma could even make such a sound, let alone with sincerity.

At the confession of hunger over a missed lunch and admission that the sound, that 'First-you-say-it-then-you-do-it' inspiring roar of animalistic lust for the flesh of lesser creatures, was an accident, only one reaction was acceptable. Their faces met the floor in a combination of relief and shock.

Then the three of them realized that they had been fooled, by Ranma's stomach of all things, again illiciting only one suitable reaction. All three glared.

"So, uh, we still gonna fight?" Ranma asked still grinning a little sheepishly, as Kasumi left to get him a suitably sized snack.

Ryoga looked away from Ranma and turned his nose up, "What's the point? You completely ruined the mood. Just be ready to die when I get back!" With that Ryoga picked up his backpack and left for... where ever.

Yoruichi sat back down at Ranma's left and waited for Kasumi to come back with the food before continuing the conversation.

After a quick feast, only a snack for the two powerful martial artists, the conversation continued.

"Okay, you're rich. Richer than anyone we've ever met. And don't get me wrong, I'll happily spread the word that Ranma is free from obligations and make even more money doing it, but what gives you the authority to end the arrangements his father made? And lets not even get started on the amazons. Nothing short of death will get them off Ranma's case," Nabiki said as Kasumi went about picking up the dishes. Ranma decided that this discussion was better left between his master and Nabiki so went to help Kasumi with her chores.

"Oh, but I think I have shown you exactly why I have that authority, Li'l 'Biki-chan," Yoruichi said with her grin in place, "It's good that the Amazons are so reasonable, because that is what awaits them and anyone who thinks they can take my pet without my approval."

Nabiki didn't try to call the older woman's bluff. She knew it wasn't one. After what had been done to her, and her younger sister, she knew that this woman wasn't one who could or would talk the talk without walking the walk.

"Okay, but you know it still won't be that easy with the amazons. You'll have to use someone as an example of what will happen if they disobey your rules, but you'll also have to wait for them to actually break one before you do. Otherwise they'll think you don't play by your own rules and find devious little ways around them. You'll probably have to do it repeatedly with Genma."

Yoruichi grinned at Nabiki, "You are a smart one, I'll give you that, but I've really got it all covered. And don't worry about the fat oaf," Yoruichi threw a scheming look at the unconscious martial artist with a bra size larger than his I.Q..

"Okay, I'll take your word for it on that. What will you do about Ranma's mother?"

"I'll simply tell her that he's my vassal and that as my underling it is my right to determine who will make a fine bride for the man who has dedicated himself to my family."

"Hmm... Instead of calling him your vassal, claim him as your samurai. Nodoka is big on the whole honroable warrior thing and its connection to manliness. I doubt you can get anymore honorable than being a samurai under a lord or lady," Nabiki suggested.

Yoruichi gave it a moment of thought, before nodding, "That will mean mum's the word when it comes to my personal training."

"Right," Nabiki said pausing to sip some tea, "Now as for what you want me to tell the community about Ranma's relationship status: Do you have a specific message in mind or do I have free reign in that area?"

Yoruichi grinned again, sending shivers down both girls' spines, and said, "I don't care how you word it as long the message that Ranma is open to all comers gets across. The only two rules are: One, if I don't approve they are not to bother him anymore. Failure to comply with this rule will be handled at my discretion. Interference in interaction between Ranma and any girl will imediately equal disapproval. Further interference will warrant sentencing, again at my discretion."

Nabiki quickly wrote down all that they had talked about. She nodded to herself as she looked over the work. She even set a relatively low ammount for the information, a mere five hundred yen. She figured she'd be telling so many people that even such a low amount would bring in a sizeable chunk of change.

Akane narrowed her eyes slightly as she watched the woman and her sister speak about her subject. The way the woman seemed to convey that she had all contingencies planned for sickened Akane. As if this woman could even halfway match her genius. She just needed a little time, a little more info, and this whore would get what was coming to her.

She stood up and left the table not wanting to be in the presence of the woman, Yoruichi, any longer. She stomped off to the dojo to carefully plan how to get Ranma into the lab if the malleting continued to be ineffective.

In the back yard two figures, one the troll like figure of the amazonian matriarch, the other the ninja of the Kuno family, darted away, their presence only noted by Yoruichi as she shook hands with Nabiki to seal the deal.

Thing were about to get fun. Yoruichi's eyes twinkled with delighted apprehension.

+--- End chapter Four---+

A/N: I know it was a short chapter, but it was mostly just a filler anyway. I do hope you all enjoyed it though. Please review if you have something to say.


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